Friday, April 13, 2012

Courage


I like to think that I'm a pretty courageous person, moving from Philly to live in a relatively physically scary East African environment. What's funny to me is when I'm given little moments of clarity when what I like to think about myself meets how myself really thinks in situations that require courage. When it comes time to actually show some courage, my knees usually turn into something of pistons chaotically firing up and down in a V2 engine with irregular fuel injection (or just uncontrollably for those of you who can't picture that). Hands get clammy, stomach starts to get sick- a natural batman in the face of injustice.

In all seriousness, though it isn't my strong suit, I do believe I've grown a lot in understanding and practicing real courage in the past year (along with having my healthy share of cowardly flights from scary situations). What I have been slowly learning throughout this time is that the power behind courage is where a person puts his or her faith. I have had to come to terms with my failure to be courageous (the shaking of the legs is probably the Holy Spirit shaking me in frustration) owing to the fact that I quite simply put way too much faith in myself.

I'll never have the courage to tackle injustice when the strength of my courage comes from faith in the weak, broken, hypocritical person that is John Sender. I will fail every time but the reason I try again and again is because I radically underestimate two things: The depth of brokenness and injustice in the world, and the weakness of my spirit and body. The corruption of any courageous action I make with faith in my own ability takes no longer than does the realization that I am a hypocrite, just as broken as the thing I am trying to fix. Furthermore, nine times out of ten I fail to even try to be courageous for fear of eventually realizing just how weak I am.

But a courage born out of faith in Jesus, the perfect savior, is a most fearsome of characteristics, because it is belief born not out of hope in my abilities, but hope in someone infinitely more powerful and incorruptible who is bent on redeeming all things. Not only does it allow you to stand up against what's right, but it cultivates unprecedented actions of love through deepest empathy. Jesus may not have had a cape or spandex, but his faith in the father was so perfect that he was able to face the full brunt of the injustices and sin of the world on the cross, and turn and say "not my will, but yours be done".

So I know, if ever I am to have courage to face the world as it really is (knees unshaking :)), the same words will be on my lips, and his name will be written on my heart.

1 comment:

  1. Amen. I love reading your thoughts. when you write them, that is. This is so true--thanks for reminding me.

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